Divorce is an emotional and often tumultuous time in a family’s lives that can have a very lasting effect on the future. Staying respectful and keeping emotions under control is sometimes easier said than done, but can be very beneficial to the outcome of your divorce and the wellbeing of your children.
This post, though, is about the 5 common mistakes I see occurring frequently during divorce. I’m sharing here so maybe you can avoid making these mistakes too!
Mistake #1 – Seeking Revenge
No matter the reasons behind the divorce, emotions usually run high throughout the process. Letting those emotions get the best of you, and acting out of spite towards your former spouse is a quick way to escalate the conflict and show everyone involved that you are not willing to be civil.
Mistake #2 – No Separation Agreement
Whenever possible, consult with an attorney and get a separation agreement in place at the start of a separation. Many future disagreements can be avoided by having your agreements in writing. Whether it be your agreements regarding property, debts, children, or taxes — they will mean nothing in court if they are not properly recorded in a separation agreement signed by both parties.
Mistake #3 – Hiring the Wrong Lawyer
Having an experienced attorney that specializes in your type of case is imperative to having the lowest stress divorce proceedings possible and the best outcome, while still making sure you are being treated fairly. Choosing an attorney that is a Certified Family Law Specialist insures that your attorney has met very strict standards set by their state’s bar, and have shown success in their field.
Mistake #4 – Refusing to Co-Parent
Whether you are married or not, if you have children together, you are going to need to learn to work together. Children are already going through a huge shift in their lives when their parents get divorced. Adding to that already extremely difficult situation with a refusal to co-parent is harming no one more than your children. Creating a united front, and showing your children that above all you are still their parents, can do a great deal in minimizing the effects the divorce have on them.
Mistake #5 – Moving On to Another Relationship Too Quickly
Everyone is different, and moves on in their own time, but moving on too quickly during a divorce can cause a lot of problems. A new relationship during the process often adds fuel to the fire and is not in anyone’s best interest. As well as avoiding unnecessary conflict, holding off a new relationship until your divorce is final is in your best interests for legal reasons as well. The courts see you as married until the divorce is final, so keeping a new relationship out of the picture during the proceedings is always best.