Divorce is a life-changing event. But, it doesn’t have to be one that changes your life for the worse. Studies show men and women are actually happier after their divorce. Makes sense really; the trick is to find your happy place and figure out how to get there.
Think about the challenge like climbing a mountain. You see the top and you know you want to get to it. You know you can get there. Through hard work and probably some trial and error you’ll reach the peak. Finding happiness after divorce is much like that. After divorce, you can reach your peak happiness. Take a look at these suggestions to get you on your way.
Give yourself time to grieve. Just as you grieve when someone dies, you need to grieve your marriage because in essence it has died too. According to Divorce Magazine.com, there are seven stages to grieving after divorce. They include denial, pain & fear, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression, and ultimately acceptance. Once you work through these stages at your own pace, your happy place will be that much closer.
Practice being grateful. At first, some people may find it impossible to feel grateful for getting a divorce. However, though your marriage didn’t work, there are things in your life that are working. Psychologists advise to focus on these things rather than the negative. By focusing on the positive things you’ll start feeling more energetic and happier.
Forget blame & regret. As you’re taking the time to be grateful, you need to forget the blame and regret that goes along with any divorce. The decision of divorce has been made and regretting it will only make things worse. Therapists suggest making a list of your regrets to help let them go. Once you’ve done this, they say the next step is to find a silver lining in each of those regrets. Finally, focus on your strengths so you can change and grow as a person.
Start dreaming & planning for the future. Part of moving on is to make plans for the future. Was there something in your marriage that was holding you back from your dream job or dream trip? If so, start making plans to dust off those dreams to make them a reality. It is never too late to follow your dreams or make new plans for the future.
Find something new to embrace. Part of planning for your new future may include finding a new hobby or activity to embrace; think of it as reinventing yourself. This is Act Two of your life — make it something worthwhile.
Part of finding something new to embrace may mean looking into your past. Was there a hobby you gave up once you got married? Go back to it. If you’re having trouble finding out what new thing you may want to try out, look at activities in your community or flip through some magazines for inspiration.
Look at your divorce with the cup half full rather than half empty. This will help you discover a new life… a new and happy life!