Anyone who is married or who has been married can tell you that marriage isn’t always easy. There will be problems, arguments, and hurdles to face. It’s whether you decide to work things out together that will determine if your marriage survives.
While some disagreements can be mended at home between you and your spouse, there are times when an unbiased third party can be helpful. A marriage counselor can help the two of you see the things you can’t or in some cases, don’t want to see.
Here are 4 common signs that you need marriage counseling:
You Become More Like Roommates Than an Actual Married Couple
You share expenses, meals, and sometimes even watch TV together. But, there is no deep conversation or intimacy. For one reason or another, you’ve become more like roommates than a married couple.
If you’re heading off into separate rooms at night, there is no chance for conversation or anything else for that matter. While it’s perfectly fine to have your alone time, too much of it could make the two of you drift further apart. A marriage counselor can help you get down to why your relationship has changed.
You Can’t Seem to Resolve Your Differences
Not liking the way he loads the dishwasher or the way she leaves her hairdryer out on the bathroom counter isn’t really a difference that you need to bring to a marriage counselor; those are more like pet peeves.
Feeling as though you’re not being listened to or continually arguing about the same thing are both issues a marriage counselor can help you figure out. Knowing that you can’t resolve your problems on your own is half the battle. A marriage counselor can help you figure out the root of the problem and help you solve it. In order for this to work, though, both parties have to be willing to talk about the problem.
You Don’t Spend Any Time Together
There was a time when you spent every waking moment together. When you didn’t, you actually missed your partner. Now, you don’t spend any time together and you’re actually okay with it. That’s really not okay if you want to stay married.
Also, the quality of time you spend together compared with the quantity needs to be looked at. If you go out to dinner but are both on your phones the entire time, did you really spend any time together? A marriage counselor can look at your daily routines and schedules and help you carve out quality time together so you can reconnect.
Communication Has Deteriorated and Becomes Negative
Tone of voice and facial expressions play a pivotal role in how you communicate. If you have a less than pleasant tone of voice during every conversation and constantly roll your eyes when the other person speaks, then your communication has definitely taken a turn for the worse. Being on the receiving end of that can make a partner feel depressed, angry, insecure and unwilling to talk anymore. Also ignoring your partner or not speaking at all can spark the same feelings. By seeking a marriage counselor, couples can sort out why the communication deteriorated and more importantly how it can be built up once again.
Remember, both parties need to be committed to fixing the relationship in order for a marriage counseling session to work. Marriage is hard work, and so is repairing a marriage.
