Second marriages offer a second chance at marital bliss, but unfortunately, statistics paint the grim reality that second marriages are even more likely to fail than first marriages.
While there is a multitude of reasons why second marriages are more prone to fail, there are also many things you can do to make your second marriage work. Take a look at these five tips for a successful second marriage.
- Don’t rush into it. Statistics show that 67% of all second marriages end in divorce compared to 50% of all first marriages. In order to avoid becoming a part of this statistic, take your time before marrying again. Some people rush into their second marriage as part of a rebound. Get to know your new partner and be sure to discuss things like finances, co-parenting, work, and anything else that you think may cause friction in your relationship.
- Let go of the past. It’s called the past for one simple reason… it’s over and done with. You can’t do anything to change what has happened. But you can take steps to mold what will happen. Let go of what happened in your first marriage and your new spouse’s if he or she was married. One of the key things to do to let go of the past is to forgive. If you’re still holding grudges it will be more difficult to move on.
- Plan for step-parenting challenges before they occur. If you’re becoming a step-parent you need to talk with your spouse about what your role will look like. Are you going to discipline the children? How are you going to get them to accept you and not resent you? These are the types of things that can cause problems if they’re not discussed ahead of time.
- Make a commitment to practice patience and endurance. No matter what people may portray, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Every relationship has its ups and downs. There will be disagreements and everyday annoyances. It’s how you deal with all of these that make the difference. Talk about these things with your partner and make a pact to be patient with one another. Remember, it takes time to adjust in any new situation and a second marriage is no different. If you are forming a blended family, there will be challenges in these situations as well. The key is to remain patient and committed to one another.
- Take time as a couple. While you want to build a new family unit with your stepchildren, you also need to take time as a couple. If a date-night is not always doable, even sitting down for a conversation and a cup of coffee with your partner every day can be beneficial. Just try not to talk about the kids the entire time! Staying connected with each other and what’s going on in each other’s lives is important for a healthy marriage.
Remember, everything needs time to grow, including marriages. But, if you put the time and commitment into the relationship, you have a better chance of it being a success.