When unmarried parents separate, one of the first questions we often hear is: “What are my rights when it comes to my child?”
It is an understandable concern. You may have been an involved parent from the day your child was born, yet suddenly find yourself unsure about where your child will live, how parenting time will be divided, or who gets to make important decisions.
At William Strachan Family Law, our approach starts with understanding your family—not simply applying a standard custody formula. Every family’s circumstances are different, and the goal should be to find a path forward that protects your relationship with your child while providing as much stability as possible.
For unmarried parents in California, that process often begins with understanding parentage.
First, Do You Need to Establish Legal Parentage?
Marriage is not required to have parental rights in California. However, when parents are unmarried, legal parentage may need to be formally established before the court can issue custody and parenting-time orders.
Depending on the circumstances, parentage may already have been established through a Voluntary Declaration of Parentage or another legal process. In other situations, a parentage case may need to be filed with the court.
This is an important first step because establishing legal parentage can provide the foundation for requesting custody and visitation and can also establish financial responsibilities for the child.
When we meet with an unmarried parent, one of the first things we want to understand is therefore simple:
What is the current legal relationship between you, the other parent and your child?
Once we know that, we can begin developing the appropriate strategy.
Custody Is About More Than Where Your Child Sleeps
Parents sometimes think of custody simply as determining which parent gets which days.
In reality, California custody has two important components.
Legal custody involves the right and responsibility to make significant decisions affecting your child’s health, education and welfare.
Physical custody concerns where your child lives and how parenting time is divided.
Both can potentially be shared between parents or awarded primarily to one parent, depending on the circumstances.
At William Strachan Family Law, we believe it is important to look beyond labels such as “joint” or “sole” custody. What really matters is how an arrangement will work in your family’s everyday life.
Who takes the child to school? How are medical decisions handled? What happens during holidays? How will vacations work? What if parents live in different communities? How are important decisions communicated?
A good parenting plan needs to work on an ordinary Tuesday—not just sound reasonable in a courtroom.
What Does the Court Consider?
California courts focus on the best interests of the child when making custody decisions.
Depending on the circumstances, that can involve the child’s health and age, relationships with each parent, stability, connections to home and school, each parent’s ability to care for the child, and concerns involving domestic violence or substance abuse.
But custody cases are rarely just a checklist of factors.
There is a family behind every case. There is history between the parents. There are usually practical realities involving work, school, extended family, transportation and finances. And there is a child who needs consistency while the adults work through their differences.
William’s approach is to understand that entire picture before recommending a strategy.
Sometimes the best result comes from negotiating a thoughtful parenting plan. Other times, when a parent is being unreasonable or a child’s welfare is at stake, a stronger approach in court may be necessary.
Knowing the difference matters.
What if We Already Agree?
That’s often a very good starting point.
If unmarried parents are communicating effectively and generally agree about custody, there may be no reason to turn the situation into an unnecessary battle.
Instead, the focus can be on creating a clear parenting plan and, when appropriate, formalizing the agreement as a court order.
We encourage parents to think beyond what works today.
What happens when your child starts school? What about summer vacation? Holidays? Travel?
Extracurricular activities? What if one parent’s work schedule changes?
A well-drafted parenting agreement anticipates potential areas of disagreement instead of waiting for them to become disputes.
What if We Don’t Agree?
This is where experienced family law counsel can become particularly valuable.
Custody disputes can become emotional very quickly. When that happens, it is easy for parents to focus on winning individual arguments rather than the larger objective.
Our job is to help clients stay focused on what actually matters.
What outcome are you trying to achieve? What arrangement is best for your child? What is realistic? And what is the most effective legal strategy for getting there?
When an agreement is possible, we work toward one.
When court intervention is necessary, we help clients present their circumstances clearly and advocate for custody orders that protect their parental rights and their child’s well-being.
Being reasonable does not mean being passive. Sometimes protecting your relationship with your child requires taking decisive legal action.
Does Child Support Determine Custody?
No. Child support and child custody are related family law issues, but they serve different purposes.
Custody addresses parenting responsibilities, decision-making and parenting time. Child support addresses the financial responsibility for supporting the child.
Parents should be careful about treating one as leverage over the other. A dispute about money should not become a battle over access to a child, and a custody disagreement should not be approached primarily as a financial negotiation.
We try to help clients separate those issues and make thoughtful decisions about each.
You Don’t Have to Turn Co-Parenting Into a War
One of the misconceptions about hiring a family law attorney is that doing so automatically makes a custody situation more adversarial.
It shouldn’t.
Good family law representation should help you understand your rights, identify the issues that actually matter and avoid unnecessary conflict when possible.
At the same time, cooperation has limits. If the other parent is interfering with your relationship with your child, refusing to cooperate, creating instability or putting your child’s well-being at risk, you may need the protection of a formal court order.
The objective isn’t conflict for the sake of conflict. It’s finding the right strategy for your family.
Talk With William Strachan Family Law About Your Situation
If you are an unmarried parent facing questions about custody, parentage or parenting time, you may be wondering what you should do next.
Start by understanding where you stand.
At William Strachan Family Law, we take the time to understand your family, your relationship with your child and the outcome you are trying to achieve. From there, we can help you determine whether the right path is negotiation, a formal parenting agreement or court intervention.
Our goal is straightforward: protect what matters, reduce unnecessary conflict and help you build a workable path forward for you and your child.
Contact William Strachan Family Law to discuss your California child custody matter and your options for moving forward.
This article provides general information about California family law and is not legal advice regarding any individual case.
